1 00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:06,173 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:43,502 Ha-ha! 3 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:45,546 There's a cold spill on aisle three. 4 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,632 Whoa! 5 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,555 Ooh! 6 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,310 Ooh! 7 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,846 Mmm! Art. 8 00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:48,358 {\an8}What am I going to wear? 9 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:49,901 {\an8}What am I going to wear? 10 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:53,447 {\an8}Hmm. Too casual. Too dressy. 11 00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:54,948 {\an8}Too bangin'. 12 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,408 {\an8}Not bangin' enough. 13 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,368 {\an8}Maggie spit up on this one. 14 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,495 {\an8}Homer spit up on this one. 15 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,165 {\an8}Oh, my God. 16 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,542 {\an8}Homie, it's 7:06. 17 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:06,918 {\an8}Where's the sitter? 18 00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:10,088 {\an8}She'll be here, don't worry. 19 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:13,050 {\an8}We're not gonna be late to our fun date night 20 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,178 {\an8}with my work friends and their current lovers. 21 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,096 {\an8}Okay, I'll be right down. 22 00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,599 {\an8}I still have to find something to wear. 23 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:27,064 {\an8}The best part of being a man is not caring how you look and dying six years earlier. 24 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:30,525 {\an8}So wait, you're really having date night at Clangerz? 25 00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:34,571 {\an8}That's a lame nostalgia bar for you voicemail-leaving dinosaurs. 26 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,032 {\an8}Hey, how about a little respect? 27 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:41,411 {\an8}Unlike you pasty Chalamets, my generation faced real challenges. 28 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,706 {\an8}We stormed the beaches of MTV's spring break in Cancún 29 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:48,210 {\an8}to taste test different sodas in the Cola Wars. 30 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,087 {\an8}I chose Pepsi, 31 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,798 {\an8}and I regret it every day of my life. 32 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,593 {\an8}I give up. 33 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,387 {\an8}Jean jacket. 34 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,347 {\an8}It's 7:09. 35 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,974 {\an8}Now the sitter's 03 minutes later. 36 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:06,687 {\an8}Honey, no one's more excited than I am to meet up with Carl 37 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:11,358 {\an8}and Naima and Lenny and whatever bizarre creature is crazy enough to date him. 38 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:14,319 {\an8}You go on ahead. I'll wait here for the sitter. 39 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,072 Go without you? 40 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:21,201 But then I'd have to carry on a conversation with your work friends. 41 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:24,329 You'll do great. Just get Carl started on Bitcoin. 42 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:27,666 - You know all about crypto, right? - Superman's dog? 43 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:32,879 Okay, other good Lenny-Carl areas: If Squid Game was real, 44 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:37,217 CPAP cleaning hacks, and why the next James Bond should be Jason Kelce. 45 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,699 Okay, Marge, you can do this. 46 00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:04,327 Just don't talk about money, politics, or sex. 47 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:05,412 Hey, Marge. 48 00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:07,914 Republican tax cuts make me horny! 49 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,751 It's officially date night at Clangerz. 50 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,796 Hiya, Marge. 51 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,299 Hi, Lenny. And you must be Amy. 52 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,342 That's what it says on my Starbucks cup. 53 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:23,346 If I'm lucky. Most of the time it says "Arnie." 54 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:28,685 Coffee people do write the wrong name. 55 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,313 Once on my cup they wrote "Sarge." 56 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:36,234 {\an8}I did an add-on. I'm fitting in. 57 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:41,031 Oh, where's that dirtbag teen I'm entrusting with my children? 58 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,116 Maybe if I pace faster, I-- 59 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,785 Ooh! She's here! 60 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,661 Thanks, pacing. 61 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:49,080 Oh, thank God you're-- injured! 62 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:52,125 Don't stress. I'm good. 63 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:55,504 They gave me all the painkillers. 64 00:04:57,422 --> 00:05:00,258 And I've got some extra for the kids. 65 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:03,512 Oh, we were making a jump-off-the-balcony video 66 00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:05,889 when she fell off the balcony. 67 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:12,604 The TikTok of me landing on a cornhole board got a like from Josh Gad. 68 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:15,315 Oh, babe, you're so talented. 69 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:27,828 They call them boneless wings, but they're just tiny tenders. 70 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:30,247 Who do they think they're fooling? 71 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,915 Not Sarge. 72 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,708 "Sarge." 73 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,210 {\an8}Callback. 74 00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:38,547 This is such fun restaurant banter, 75 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:41,508 like the beginning of a sketch on Saturday Night Live 76 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:44,970 before all the wacky behavior ruins their nice evening. 77 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,347 Care for a free Aperol spritz 78 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,766 courtesy of me, Aperol Fritz? 79 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,102 - Yes! - Oh, yes, bring it on. 80 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,896 As God is my witness, I will find 81 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,983 some sad loser to watch my kids. 82 00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,610 You have reached the mobile cellular device 83 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,571 of Principal Seymour Skinner. 84 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:04,406 Voicemail. 85 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,908 No, no, this is he speaking live. 86 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:09,119 Oh, my God, Skinner, you run a kid prison. 87 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,537 Come babysit my jerks. 88 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,415 My dad isn't talking to me, the yes-guy said no, 89 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:18,545 Mrs. Botz is still in jail, and Flanders is too busy working on his car. 90 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:21,131 Actually, my car's working on me. 91 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,674 There's a leaf spring in my kidney. 92 00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:25,093 Well, take care of those organs. I might need them later. 93 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,679 Okily dokily, passing out now. 94 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:31,474 Come on, Skinner, I'll match your school salary. 95 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,435 What do you make, $5 an hour? 96 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:37,272 Mr. Simpson, I am an educator, not a babysitter. 97 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,274 I would never stoop that low. 98 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:42,611 Principal Sitter, wipe me! 99 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,782 I guess you're the babysitter, big boy. 100 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:50,744 I wanna hear three chapters of Anne of Green Gables 101 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:54,205 with authentic Prince Edward Island accents. 102 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,416 By the time I get to the restaurant, 103 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,544 all the dipping sauces will be full of nugget crumbs. 104 00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:01,463 Who's gonna watch these kids? 105 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:08,219 Oh! What if the who was a what and the when was right in front of me? 106 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:19,564 {\an8}Kids, meet your new babysitter: Mrs. Front Door Cam. 107 00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:22,901 All you have to do is stay in this frame. 108 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:25,737 Daddy will be watching, even if he's driving, 109 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:28,823 {\an8}and just to make sure Bart is a good little boy... 110 00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:30,033 {\an8}Get bent. 111 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,869 {\an8}I'm not some stupid dog. I'm-- 112 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,837 Have a nice night. Daddy loves you. 113 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,924 Ah! Down, down, stay. 114 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:58,103 This might be a hot take, but I wish the Olympics were every week. 115 00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:01,189 That's genius. No way you'd get bored of that. 116 00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:03,316 It would bring the world together. 117 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,026 Goodbye, wars. 118 00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:08,279 And the movie theater should tell you when the movie really starts, 119 00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,198 not when the previews start. 120 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,700 - Yeah. - I agree wholeheartedly. 121 00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:14,536 I love your hot takes, Marge. Keep 'em coming. 122 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:18,123 Okay, here's a scorcher: masking tape-- 123 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:21,543 The real fun begins now! 124 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:22,627 - Homer! - Big guy! 125 00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,003 - Hello. - Good to see you! 126 00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,922 Homie, this is going great. 127 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,967 I don't know why I was worried I'd be bad at conversation. 128 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:31,344 Everything's flowing so freely, and-- 129 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,512 Hey, that's great. 130 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,013 I got it from here. 131 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:38,935 So, work bros, I think Smitty cheated on his March Madness bracket. 132 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,688 He just wrote a U with a scribble, 133 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:45,692 so you can't tell if he's picking UConn or UTEP. 134 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:48,111 {\an8}And I'm all like, "Which is it, Smitty? 135 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,654 Miners or Huskies? 136 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,156 Miners or Huskies?" 137 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:54,492 Homer, please, there's three other people here. 138 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:55,994 Right, right, right. 139 00:08:56,077 --> 00:09:00,040 Who do you ladies like for WrestleMania this year? 140 00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:03,001 So, Homer, the group was having a discussion 141 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,462 about things that interest all of us. 142 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,006 Amy found this amazing podcast 143 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:12,969 where comedians talk to each other for hours but don't tell any jokes. 144 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:15,597 In the latest one, Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias 145 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,807 talks about the bus crash that traumatized-- 146 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,559 Cut that out and shut up! 147 00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:23,813 When I leave you in porch jail, I expect you to sit there and be bored. 148 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,983 The sprinkler came on. What are we supposed to do? 149 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:30,320 Just stomp it back in the earth like everyone else. 150 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,238 Who are you talking to? 151 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:33,615 Um... 152 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:35,992 My crotchel area? 153 00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:41,331 You left the kids unsupervised? 154 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,584 No, no, the doorbell's watching them. It's very responsible. 155 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:47,337 And I gave Lisa a brick to hit strangers with. 156 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,672 - It's heavy! - That means it's working. 157 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:56,221 I had to use rusty scissors to get the stupid shock collar off my neck. 158 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,765 You used my good rusty scissors? 159 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,643 They better still be rusty when I get home! 160 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,856 Sometimes I hate being married to you! 161 00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:16,116 I shouldn't have raised my voice like that. 162 00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:18,785 Just go home and take care of the kids. 163 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,787 One Centipede? 164 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,540 Zero Centipedes! Go! 165 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,542 Okay, okay, okay. 166 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,548 Sarge? 167 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,467 {\an8}Oh, this night was going great, 168 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,177 {\an8}and then you had to see that. 169 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,304 {\an8}Sorry I made it so awkward. 170 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,430 No. 171 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,682 Not awkward. 172 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,809 Not awkward at all. 173 00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:53,194 Here, have mine too. Double up. 174 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:54,445 Thanks. 175 00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:59,701 I guess you noticed Homer isn't the perfect husband. 176 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:04,581 Please don't get me wrong. I love Homer dearly, but he's got flaws. 177 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:08,168 Crippling, unignorable flaws. 178 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:13,673 {\an8}Sometimes I wish he was different, 179 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,301 {\an8}a Homer who doesn't fold under pressure 180 00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,511 {\an8}and make terrible decisions, 181 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:21,347 {\an8}someone who is bold and fearless. 182 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:29,230 Like, I don't know, a fighter pilot in that game. 183 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:36,154 If only, if only. 184 00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:39,115 Woo-hoo! 185 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:43,286 I feel the need, the need to go really fast. 186 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:48,416 Primo ace top jet squadron, check in. 187 00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:50,418 - Belch. - Quadball. 188 00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:51,753 Open Sore. 189 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:56,174 Let's show this town a meaningless training flight they'll never forget. 190 00:11:57,926 --> 00:12:04,474 {\an8}♪ Flying fast and flying low Flying where you're not supposed to go ♪ 191 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,435 ♪ Facing your foes In the deadly sky ♪ 192 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:11,648 ♪ Make one wrong move And you'll super die ♪ 193 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:18,821 That dude is brave to the max. 194 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:21,241 All right, Simpson, you've broken the sound barrier. 195 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:22,700 Now pull up. 196 00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:26,955 Sorry, Cap, not till I break the smell barrier. 197 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:44,931 A colonic boom. 198 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:48,017 Oh! That's the odor from a week from now. Ugh! 199 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,857 It was great being your wingman, Homer. 200 00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,192 Hey, let my dog out of the car. 201 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:59,153 It's the blue Honda. 202 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,115 Tower, I'm going down. 203 00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:05,201 Order me a new plane, this time with a cup holder. 204 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,288 That man's heroism is out of control. 205 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:18,548 Another successful mission. 206 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:25,471 ♪ Riding the ground version of a jet ♪ 207 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:31,185 ♪ To really get the point across ♪ 208 00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:36,399 You ruined a $70 million aircraft, 209 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,527 and your wingman crashed into Mount Springfield. 210 00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:45,950 He knew the deal when he got drafted. 211 00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:49,537 Simpson, I am ordering you to undergo psychological evaluation 212 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:52,790 to determine the source of this reckless behavior. 213 00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,209 Go ahead, sic a shrink on me. 214 00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:58,129 When that dude looks inside my head, 215 00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:01,382 whoever he is, that man won't find a thing. 216 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:05,845 You tell that male doctor with his prominent Adam's apple 217 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:11,809 and hairy boobless chest to go pound sand with his big masculine fists. 218 00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:13,978 Why don't you tell me yourself? 219 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:26,324 That's some control tower you got up there. 220 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:29,035 And it spotted a pilot in distress. 221 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:32,914 I'm going to get to the root cause of your dangerous fearlessness, 222 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:36,167 and help you get rid of it once and for all. 223 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:40,129 Well, it's a pretty tall order, little lady. 224 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:43,341 Tell you what, Doc, you can dig into my brain, 225 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:46,511 but we'll do it my way on the fly. 226 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,678 See if you can keep up. 227 00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:50,098 Try me, mister. 228 00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:54,060 ♪ Therapy at the speed of tears ♪ 229 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,979 ♪ Breakthroughs that normally take years ♪ 230 00:14:57,063 --> 00:15:00,066 ♪ Analyze fast so the trauma can't hide ♪ 231 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:06,656 ♪ Forgive the child inside ♪ 232 00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:12,703 You seek out danger. Why? 233 00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:17,500 Danger is a me-seeking missile, and I face it head on. No fear. 234 00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:21,963 I think you do have a fear, a fear of being afraid. 235 00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,590 You're right. Fear scares me too much. 236 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:31,597 Because of my stupid fear of fear, I lost every one of my wingmen. 237 00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:35,268 I'm responsible for so many wing widows. 238 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:40,606 Then I have to do a flyover at the funeral, and I lose another wingman. 239 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:44,569 It's a vicious cycle. 240 00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:49,615 I guess I don't have a shot with you now, right? 241 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:53,369 A man showing vulnerability is the biggest turnoff to women. 242 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,413 Try me, mister. 243 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:03,296 ♪ Crying during sex ♪ 244 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:06,883 ♪ Crying during sex ♪ 245 00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:12,638 You cured me. 246 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:16,017 I finally conquered my fearlessness. 247 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:22,815 Betraying my professional code of ethics has never felt so good. 248 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:29,739 Simpson, thank God you're here. 249 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,325 America's greatest enemy is preparing to attack. 250 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,660 - Who? China? - No, not China. 251 00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:37,079 Oh, God, no. Not China. 252 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,999 - Russia. - No, not Russia either. No. 253 00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,250 North Korea? 254 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,920 Stop naming real countries. 255 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:47,340 Now your target is the weapons-grade nuclear reactor 256 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:50,968 recently discovered in a heavily-fortified slot canyon 257 00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:54,263 in the rogue nation of Nonexististan. 258 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:59,894 Only America should be able to wipe out all life on Earth. 259 00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:01,896 Yes, well put, Urine Test. 260 00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:06,192 Our only chance is a precision strike 261 00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:10,196 fired while executing a corkscrew maneuver called the coffin roll. 262 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:15,451 Bold Eagle, this is the kind of insane off-the-charts stunt you were born for. 263 00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:16,994 Can we count on you? 264 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:22,833 Admiral, I conquered my fear of fear, and now I'm not afraid to be afraid. 265 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:26,003 I can't do the coffin roll. 266 00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,922 I might die! 267 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,508 Even the name is scary. 268 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,308 That dude is cowardly to the max. 269 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,894 You fixed him. Now un-fix him back. 270 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,230 Homer, stop. 271 00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:46,065 Brand-new love interest. 272 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,650 I cured your fearlessness, 273 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:51,362 but your country needs you to get it back for one last mission. 274 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:52,863 Get in that cockpit. 275 00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:54,824 I'll be with you all the way. 276 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,742 And then more sex crying? 277 00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,744 You better believe it, mister. 278 00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:01,122 Okay, I'll try. 279 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,165 Uppies! 280 00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,421 Top jet squadron, report. 281 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:09,755 Hammer Toe. 282 00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:11,173 Wheat Allergy. 283 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:12,341 Cameo. 284 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,677 Unsure Guy. 285 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,180 Homer, I said I'd be here with you. I meant that. 286 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,436 Is this mid-air-apy? 287 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:26,063 Unload your feelings 288 00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:30,359 and your infrared guided AIM-9X Sidewinder missiles. 289 00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:48,419 I'm fearless again. 290 00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:51,422 You uncured the cure you cured before. 291 00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:56,427 Now get up there and go kill our purposefully vague enemies. 292 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:03,309 Bogies, squadron, initiate attack pattern GLC. 293 00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,936 That's Gabo Love-Tester Cromulent. 294 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:17,114 But I'm too famous to die! 295 00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,085 Target acquired. 296 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:32,463 Engaging coffin roll. 297 00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:34,965 You'll never survive it with your plane in that shape. 298 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,550 It's suicide. 299 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,970 Wrong, it's them-icide. 300 00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,655 You did it, Homer. 301 00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:01,367 Thanks to you, the best wingman I ever-- 302 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,744 Oh, no. All my wingmen tragically die. 303 00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:06,747 Oh, yeah, you said that. 304 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,669 Nonexististan! 305 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,255 Oh, good, you're back. 306 00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:17,466 You've been staring into your drink and drooling for the last eight minutes. 307 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:22,471 Well, kids, just like American democracy, my stupid experiment has failed, 308 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,765 so I'll have to be your babysitter. 309 00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:26,517 Now, to let you watch TV all night 310 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,061 while I go through your parents' medicine cabinet. 311 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,901 Oh, I left my house keys back at the restaurant. 312 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:37,778 They're in my summer windbreaker. 313 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,780 Now we're stuck out here. 314 00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:42,908 What if it gets windy and I have nothing to break it? 315 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:45,494 How did you drive here without your car keys? 316 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:50,166 I start my car with a screwdriver ever since I lost the keys in my fall peacoat. 317 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,584 Dad, calm down. 318 00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,920 Mom hid a backup key inside this fake rock. 319 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,882 Great, now we can get in. 320 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,719 No, you idiot, the key was in the rock. 321 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:04,597 I'm not a geologist. 322 00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:11,020 You're Homer's best pals. 323 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,271 Tell me something. 324 00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:14,607 What's his whole deal? 325 00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:17,109 Uh... good provider. 326 00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:18,944 Uh, go-getter. 327 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:23,032 You're just saying that because you're his friends with benefits. 328 00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:28,704 You know, because you're all on the same health and pension plan. 329 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,750 This round's on me. 330 00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:37,254 What? I just paid this month's bill. 331 00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:42,343 Homer spent $3,000 on a vintage Centipede arcade game. 332 00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:46,847 Hurry it up, guys. The chump sprung for one-hour shipping. 333 00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:52,436 Why can't I have a normal, responsible husband? 334 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,356 Like they used to have in those movies from the '50s 335 00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:58,234 with businessmen played by Rock Hudson. 336 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,861 Now there was a man's man. 337 00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:07,910 So steady, so safe, so conventional. 338 00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:10,538 In conclusion, gentlemen, 339 00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:13,165 I hope you'll consider implementing my proposed 340 00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:14,875 ashtray expansion program. 341 00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:19,797 In my view, it will achieve uninterrupted desk-side smoking 342 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,467 while decreasing costly ash disposal disruptions, 343 00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:26,262 providing significant improvements efficiency-wise, 344 00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:29,056 profit-wise, and conformity-wise, 345 00:22:29,139 --> 00:22:31,976 and it's backed by our best numbers man. 346 00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:35,938 Fiscal Stu forecasts growth in quarter two. 347 00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:44,864 Top-notch work, Simpson. 348 00:22:44,947 --> 00:22:46,907 You're a vital part of this company. 349 00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:48,242 Thank you, sir. 350 00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:52,580 Now go back to the anonymous junior executive floor and resume toiling. 351 00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:09,597 Dynamite presentation today, Simpson. 352 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:13,517 There may be an opening for an executive position in optimization. 353 00:23:14,518 --> 00:23:15,853 Optimization? 354 00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:19,398 Ooh, that's a world of difference from efficiency. 355 00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:20,649 Don't you want this? 356 00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:22,776 I thought you had lead in your pencil, 357 00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:25,779 whiskey in your coffee, sand in your hula hoop. 358 00:23:25,863 --> 00:23:29,783 I have all those things in those things, metaphor-wise. 359 00:23:29,867 --> 00:23:32,786 That's very wise, wise-wise. 360 00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:36,790 Play your cards right and you'll get one of these. 361 00:23:36,874 --> 00:23:40,878 The key to the executive washroom. 362 00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:46,884 You'll be getting your shoes shined while sitting in a marble-lined toilet stall. 363 00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:51,639 A seat as cold as ice and a flush as loud as thunder. 364 00:23:51,722 --> 00:23:55,684 You can seal the deal with the big boss at his country club party tomorrow. 365 00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:58,228 This could be the most pivotal moment of your life. 366 00:23:58,312 --> 00:24:00,147 I did survive Normandy. 367 00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:02,149 We would have won without you. 368 00:24:11,742 --> 00:24:14,703 {\an8}Hey, buddy boy, still amalgamating those components 369 00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:16,580 {\an8}at Amalgamated Components? 370 00:24:16,664 --> 00:24:20,042 You're mopping up some pretty chunky gravy, huh? 371 00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:23,253 Ha! I bet you're making 7,000 a year. 372 00:24:23,337 --> 00:24:26,131 Well, accuracy-wise, 7,2. 373 00:24:26,215 --> 00:24:29,343 Whoa. That gravy is some pretty serious cheddar. 374 00:24:29,426 --> 00:24:34,181 You got the world by the tail, unlike me. 375 00:24:34,264 --> 00:24:36,517 Next stop, Cheeverton. 376 00:24:37,184 --> 00:24:38,560 As you disembark, 377 00:24:38,644 --> 00:24:42,523 please take a moment to contemplate how the post-war dream of prosperity 378 00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:46,986 has curdled into an empty spiritual hole at the center of your existence 379 00:24:47,069 --> 00:24:50,948 that you fill with alcohol and loveless casual affairs. 380 00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:52,950 Well, good riding with you, Homer. 381 00:24:53,033 --> 00:24:55,828 Keep providing for that beautiful wife and kids. 382 00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:57,496 I'm going to swim home now. 383 00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:00,290 Pool to pool. 384 00:25:04,628 --> 00:25:05,629 Yahoo. 385 00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:14,096 Hello, dear. 386 00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:18,434 Who was that you were talking to? 387 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:20,561 Poor, sad Kirk Van Houten. 388 00:25:20,644 --> 00:25:22,354 I feel bad for that guy. 389 00:25:22,438 --> 00:25:24,565 Swimming to an empty house every night. 390 00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:32,364 Who could find a strapping athletic loner like that attractive? 391 00:25:32,448 --> 00:25:34,783 - Hi, Daddy. - Hi, Daddy. 392 00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:37,327 My boys, Dirk and Birk. 393 00:25:40,289 --> 00:25:42,124 We're going to that party, of course. 394 00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:44,376 You want that promotion, don't you? 395 00:25:44,460 --> 00:25:47,421 Well, it would be nice to move up, cost-of-living wise, 396 00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:50,799 but then again, I've only been at the company ten years. 397 00:25:50,883 --> 00:25:53,510 Tell us again about the executive washroom, Papa. 398 00:25:53,594 --> 00:25:55,763 How big is the urinal trough? 399 00:25:55,846 --> 00:25:57,222 No trough, boys. 400 00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:59,475 - Golly. - What a life. 401 00:25:59,558 --> 00:26:01,852 It's settled. We are going to that party 402 00:26:01,935 --> 00:26:03,812 and you are getting that promotion. 403 00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:05,981 This family's going to move up in the world, 404 00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:08,650 even if it means you have to work late in the city 405 00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:11,236 and never spend a night in our bed again. 406 00:26:11,945 --> 00:26:15,657 Sleep well, my morose alcoholic stallion. 407 00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:20,621 There's the big boss. 408 00:26:20,704 --> 00:26:24,458 Here's your chance to prove your manhood by debasing yourself. 409 00:26:24,541 --> 00:26:25,542 Grovel, Homer. 410 00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:26,835 Grovel like the wind. 411 00:26:26,919 --> 00:26:27,920 I'll do it. 412 00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:29,338 I just need a drink. 413 00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:31,882 Um, I'll have a now fashioned. 414 00:26:42,768 --> 00:26:44,561 What's eating at you, daddy-o? 415 00:26:44,645 --> 00:26:47,856 You're sweating like Dalton Trumbo reading the blacklist. 416 00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:50,818 I'm supposed to talk to the boss about getting a promotion. 417 00:26:50,901 --> 00:26:52,778 It's everything I want in this life. 418 00:26:52,861 --> 00:26:54,822 Really? That's what you want? 419 00:26:54,905 --> 00:26:58,408 To be a soulless cog in the capitalist machine? 420 00:26:58,492 --> 00:27:02,037 Just another yes-man in a world full of yes-men? 421 00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:03,288 - Yes. - Yes. 422 00:27:03,372 --> 00:27:05,082 - Yes. - Yes. 423 00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:07,459 - Yes. - Yes. 424 00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:10,254 Uh, yes? 425 00:27:10,337 --> 00:27:12,673 No, that's not for you. 426 00:27:12,756 --> 00:27:15,843 You don't want that sad, sad life. 427 00:27:15,926 --> 00:27:19,555 Three-martini lunch, six-martini drive home. 428 00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:22,766 All so you can keel over with your face in an ashtray 429 00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:25,936 while working late on the Henderson account. 430 00:27:26,019 --> 00:27:29,857 You're a little presumptuous for a bartender and/or female. 431 00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:33,944 I only sling sidecars to keep me in bread and bongos. 432 00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:35,237 I'm an artist. 433 00:27:37,406 --> 00:27:39,950 This drawing captures my soul. 434 00:27:40,033 --> 00:27:43,745 I never thought a cocktail napkin could be so devastating. 435 00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:47,249 D'oh. I don't want this empty life, but I'm trapped. 436 00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:49,585 Tell you what, my tip jar's full. 437 00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:50,836 Let's get out of here. 438 00:27:50,919 --> 00:27:55,257 Those fountainheads and pocket squares will never know you're gone. 439 00:27:55,340 --> 00:27:59,011 - Yes! Yes! - Yes! Yes! 440 00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:03,056 And where we're going, every neck is turtled. 441 00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:53,649 Don't you feel like this great cosmic energy is pushing us together? 442 00:28:53,732 --> 00:28:54,733 Like, yeah. 443 00:28:54,816 --> 00:28:57,152 Like, I never felt, like, this free before. 444 00:28:57,235 --> 00:29:00,197 I never thought I'd use this many "likes" in a sentence. 445 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:05,661 I, like, think, like, I'm in, like, love, like, with, like, you, like. 446 00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:07,037 You're a poet. 447 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,915 Let's run away together to California. 448 00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:11,583 I'll like do it. 449 00:29:11,667 --> 00:29:14,378 The bus leaves Cheeverton Station in two hours. 450 00:29:17,506 --> 00:29:20,676 I love you, artistic bartender chick. 451 00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:24,262 I love you, mindless capitalist stooge. 452 00:29:39,861 --> 00:29:41,279 Going somewhere? 453 00:29:41,363 --> 00:29:44,199 Uh, well, you see, I was... 454 00:29:44,282 --> 00:29:46,785 I'll tell you where you're going: up the ladder. 455 00:29:46,868 --> 00:29:51,123 While you ran off God knows where, in God knows what animation style, 456 00:29:51,206 --> 00:29:54,459 I did your job and buttered up your boss. 457 00:29:54,543 --> 00:29:56,545 The promotion? 458 00:29:56,628 --> 00:30:01,800 That's right, Mr. Senior Junior Assistant Vice President for Optimization. 459 00:30:08,724 --> 00:30:13,478 ♪ A hoping time, a time for hopeful hope ♪ 460 00:30:15,731 --> 00:30:21,862 ♪ A feeling warm and vague Like when you need a nap ♪ 461 00:30:22,612 --> 00:30:25,907 ♪ Might-have-beens and should-have-dones ♪ 462 00:30:25,991 --> 00:30:29,578 ♪ We grieve all of our choices ♪ 463 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:34,833 ♪ With sad and mournful voices ♪ 464 00:30:34,916 --> 00:30:36,918 Is there something wrong, sir? 465 00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:38,670 Just keep shining. 466 00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:48,972 Oh, that was so sad, but all those driveways were spotless. 467 00:30:49,056 --> 00:30:52,017 I think I'm too drunk to interpret meaning. 468 00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:56,772 Oh, no, what disaster is Homer up to now? 469 00:30:57,355 --> 00:31:00,984 Dad, you're not going to reach the doorknob through the mail slot. 470 00:31:01,068 --> 00:31:02,069 Yes, I will. 471 00:31:02,152 --> 00:31:04,946 This is the arm that liberated a thousand Snickers 472 00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:07,699 and one accidental bag of apple chips. 473 00:31:07,783 --> 00:31:10,827 Hey, Dad, I have a great idea. 474 00:31:11,620 --> 00:31:14,414 I'm gonna pour all this birdseed down your butt crack. 475 00:31:14,498 --> 00:31:16,083 How is that a great idea? 476 00:31:20,754 --> 00:31:22,839 Hey, squirrel, that's not for you. 477 00:31:22,923 --> 00:31:24,299 You son of a gun! 478 00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:32,224 You... You... 479 00:31:33,141 --> 00:31:34,309 I'm gonna get you! 480 00:31:34,392 --> 00:31:37,687 Why is Homer so broken? 481 00:31:37,771 --> 00:31:40,357 Oh! I'm sorry. 482 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:44,778 Is there maybe a trauma of his you're ignoring? 483 00:31:44,861 --> 00:31:46,780 Don't give me the head tilt. 484 00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:50,283 You know, landing Lenny does not make you a relationship expert. 485 00:31:50,367 --> 00:31:53,120 He fakes eye injuries to avoid intimacy. 486 00:31:53,203 --> 00:31:56,164 That's not true, is it, lover? 487 00:31:56,248 --> 00:31:57,541 Uh... 488 00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:01,503 Ah! My eye. Gotta go for three weeks. 489 00:32:02,796 --> 00:32:05,173 Oh, and what's Lenny's trauma? 490 00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:11,096 Don't worry, I won't ruin the rest of your date. 491 00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:20,981 Couples night over. 492 00:32:21,064 --> 00:32:25,610 Auf Wiedersehen, imaginary cocktail leprechaun. 493 00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:27,779 I am real. I exist. 494 00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:30,448 Mmm, my name is Steve. 495 00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:35,162 I can't do this. 496 00:32:35,245 --> 00:32:39,082 Just take me someplace where people can wallow in their lowest moment 497 00:32:39,166 --> 00:32:41,710 with zero chance of being judged. 498 00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:44,796 Yeah, yeah, one low-moment wallow coming up. 499 00:32:46,214 --> 00:32:48,216 It looks like an Aperol spritz. 500 00:32:48,300 --> 00:32:49,384 It's vodka and rust. 501 00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:55,182 Moe, for the first time in my entire married life, 502 00:32:55,265 --> 00:32:58,226 I didn't want to enter my own home. 503 00:32:58,310 --> 00:33:01,730 Whoa. I guess Homer did something really bad this time. 504 00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:03,023 Well, he's done worse. 505 00:33:03,106 --> 00:33:07,444 It's just that over time, it builds up like fuzz in a lint trap 506 00:33:07,527 --> 00:33:12,699 until one day, you get home and your whole damn dryer is on fire. 507 00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:21,708 I just keep wondering what it would be like to be married to a different Homer. 508 00:33:21,791 --> 00:33:24,252 Maybe one who wasn't so full of rage, 509 00:33:24,336 --> 00:33:27,422 who could go through life with a smile on his face. 510 00:33:27,505 --> 00:33:29,507 Great. Well, just keep staring into your drink. 511 00:33:29,591 --> 00:33:30,884 Maybe something will happen. 512 00:33:31,593 --> 00:33:34,387 Hmm. A smile on his face. 513 00:33:37,057 --> 00:33:41,645 The mood tonight in Darkham City remains relentlessly grim. 514 00:33:41,728 --> 00:33:45,190 Darkham continues to suffer from a deep oppressive decay, 515 00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:49,277 almost plagiarizingly reminiscent of an early Scorsese film. 516 00:33:49,361 --> 00:33:52,197 There's a simmering chaos ready to boil over. 517 00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:57,285 Who knows what derivative spark will set the city aflame. 518 00:33:57,369 --> 00:34:01,706 And now it's time for the late-evening program with Krusty the Clown. 519 00:34:05,335 --> 00:34:06,378 Hey, hey. 520 00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:09,422 So the sanitation strike is in its 5th month. 521 00:34:09,506 --> 00:34:12,050 The trash is piled so high in the street corners, 522 00:34:12,133 --> 00:34:16,096 if I want to get a hooker, I have to hire a Sherpa. 523 00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:23,603 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Krusty's still got it, right, Dad? 524 00:34:24,145 --> 00:34:27,482 You're the only one that laughs at that degenerate clown. 525 00:34:27,565 --> 00:34:29,943 Krusty helps me forget my troubles. 526 00:34:30,026 --> 00:34:31,987 What troubles have you got to forget? 527 00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:34,572 Now rinse me off with our only broth ladle. 528 00:34:38,159 --> 00:34:40,578 Good news. 529 00:34:40,662 --> 00:34:43,164 Social services set me up with my dream job, 530 00:34:43,248 --> 00:34:45,458 one where my... 531 00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:49,337 ...condition won't get in the... ...way. 532 00:34:49,421 --> 00:34:54,509 Oh! Suddenly, someone's too good to wash his daddy all day. 533 00:34:54,592 --> 00:34:57,596 Now sponge some soup into my mouth. 534 00:35:06,146 --> 00:35:09,899 Whoa! Cover yourself, starvy Keitel. 535 00:35:11,067 --> 00:35:13,486 Okay, clowns and clownettes, 536 00:35:13,570 --> 00:35:16,364 when you work those birthday parties and discount sales, 537 00:35:16,448 --> 00:35:18,658 remember, you are not Krusty, 538 00:35:18,742 --> 00:35:21,494 nor are you affiliated with the Krusty brand. 539 00:35:21,578 --> 00:35:25,123 You are his unlicensed friend, Krummy. 540 00:35:25,206 --> 00:35:27,083 So what is our motto? 541 00:35:27,167 --> 00:35:29,044 - No lawsuits. - No lawsuits. 542 00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:35,383 That's the Krummy spirit. 543 00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:38,053 Don't send this guy to the preschool graduation. 544 00:35:41,765 --> 00:35:43,058 {\an8}I'm good at this. 545 00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:47,270 {\an8}Maybe my life will be more than just a bathtub of filthy soup. 546 00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:49,648 D'oh. 547 00:35:51,900 --> 00:35:52,901 D'oh. 548 00:35:54,194 --> 00:35:56,279 D'oh. 549 00:36:01,493 --> 00:36:02,494 Ha-ha! 550 00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:08,333 Hey, swizzle stick, are you laughing at me? 551 00:36:08,416 --> 00:36:11,711 D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. 552 00:36:15,674 --> 00:36:17,509 This dude has a condition. 553 00:36:17,592 --> 00:36:20,345 Now it seems kind of messed-up to stomp him. 554 00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:21,680 Yeah, you're right. 555 00:36:23,014 --> 00:36:25,934 Yeah, thanks for making us feel bad about ourselves, jerk. 556 00:36:29,854 --> 00:36:34,192 D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. 557 00:36:34,275 --> 00:36:39,698 D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. Woo-hoo! 558 00:36:39,781 --> 00:36:43,451 D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. 559 00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:46,871 D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. 560 00:36:46,955 --> 00:36:51,000 D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. 561 00:36:51,084 --> 00:36:57,590 D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. 562 00:36:57,674 --> 00:37:00,009 D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. Ah! 563 00:37:02,679 --> 00:37:07,726 Last night, one of my biggest fans was brutally attacked 564 00:37:07,809 --> 00:37:09,853 on the streets of Darkham. 565 00:37:09,936 --> 00:37:11,104 Krusty. 566 00:37:11,187 --> 00:37:16,276 He was stomped and beaten and thrown down Origin Story stairs, 567 00:37:16,359 --> 00:37:20,196 all because he was dressed like little old me. 568 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:23,616 Krusty loves me. 569 00:37:23,700 --> 00:37:27,036 It was a senseless, brutal crime 570 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:32,625 committed by my four hilarious guests, the Stomp Brothers! 571 00:37:35,378 --> 00:37:37,380 D'oh. 572 00:37:37,464 --> 00:37:40,008 You guys really revolutionized comedy 573 00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:43,678 with the way you beat the crap out of that loser. 574 00:37:44,846 --> 00:37:45,972 Roll the tape. 575 00:37:46,055 --> 00:37:48,767 D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. 576 00:37:48,850 --> 00:37:51,144 D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. 577 00:37:51,227 --> 00:37:54,898 D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. 578 00:37:56,608 --> 00:37:58,359 Why, Krusty? 579 00:37:58,443 --> 00:38:00,445 Why? 580 00:38:00,528 --> 00:38:02,447 Because it's hilarious. 581 00:38:02,530 --> 00:38:05,992 How come you're not laughing, Bones McGee? 582 00:38:08,703 --> 00:38:09,954 {\an8}You're not funny. 583 00:38:10,038 --> 00:38:11,206 Nothing's funny. 584 00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:13,166 Society's not funny. 585 00:38:13,249 --> 00:38:16,085 {\an8}I'm the stomper now. 586 00:38:17,003 --> 00:38:20,256 {\an8}What in tarnation? 587 00:38:25,678 --> 00:38:28,723 I'm free. 588 00:38:32,727 --> 00:38:35,021 Nothing's gonna knock me down. 589 00:38:35,104 --> 00:38:36,731 D'oh. D'oh. 590 00:38:36,815 --> 00:38:38,983 D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. 591 00:38:56,626 --> 00:39:00,922 Oh, this bleak, disgusting world just got sad. 592 00:39:01,005 --> 00:39:03,007 I know you. You're Homer. 593 00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:07,428 A beautiful lunatic knows my name? 594 00:39:07,512 --> 00:39:09,472 Everybody knows you. 595 00:39:09,556 --> 00:39:12,851 The whole city saw what you did to that rich guy. 596 00:39:12,934 --> 00:39:16,521 Everyone is on your side in your fight against authority. 597 00:39:16,604 --> 00:39:18,147 You're not just infamous. 598 00:39:18,231 --> 00:39:20,358 You're famous. Look. 599 00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:22,819 Hey! 600 00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:24,863 Do they want to stomp me? 601 00:39:24,946 --> 00:39:27,282 No, they want to be you. 602 00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:31,786 This crowd of clown celebrators or clowncels 603 00:39:31,870 --> 00:39:33,580 have gathered in support of the vigilante 604 00:39:33,663 --> 00:39:36,124 who struck a blow against systemic injustice 605 00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:39,627 by murdering a rich man who was donating money to the hospital. 606 00:39:39,711 --> 00:39:42,964 They have dubbed their new hero the D'ohker. 607 00:39:43,047 --> 00:39:46,217 Thanks for making me feel seen and feared, D'ohker. 608 00:39:46,301 --> 00:39:50,138 Snuffman is ready to unleash his toxic male rage. 609 00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:51,222 D'oh-yah! 610 00:39:51,306 --> 00:39:53,808 D'ohker, D'ohker! 611 00:39:53,892 --> 00:39:56,769 Those angry maniacs will follow you anywhere. 612 00:39:56,853 --> 00:39:58,980 They're ready to die for your cause. 613 00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:00,565 I don't have a cause. 614 00:40:00,648 --> 00:40:01,816 Yes, you do. 615 00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:05,945 You're getting back at everyone that hurt you in this whole rotten society, 616 00:40:06,029 --> 00:40:08,740 and you're going to do it with a smile. 617 00:40:08,823 --> 00:40:10,241 Come here. 618 00:40:13,411 --> 00:40:15,038 Now you do me. 619 00:40:21,836 --> 00:40:23,922 Your adoring fans await. 620 00:40:24,005 --> 00:40:25,757 Let's not disappoint them. 621 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:29,427 This may be the 39 flights of stairs I fell down talking, 622 00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:34,933 but I hear a slow, haunting version of a song that's usually fast and funny. 623 00:40:35,016 --> 00:40:41,522 ♪ Happy song done ironic ♪ 624 00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:47,612 ♪ Sung like a catatonic ♪ 625 00:40:48,279 --> 00:40:52,742 ♪ Painfully clear ♪ 626 00:40:53,701 --> 00:40:57,121 ♪ That the mood is ♪ 627 00:40:57,205 --> 00:41:02,627 ♪ So drear ♪ 628 00:41:02,710 --> 00:41:09,258 ♪ And to really put it on the nose ♪ 629 00:41:09,342 --> 00:41:12,178 ♪ Make sure you close ♪ 630 00:41:12,261 --> 00:41:19,268 ♪ In an off-putting minor key ♪ 631 00:41:33,616 --> 00:41:35,618 The D'ohker has escaped. 632 00:41:35,702 --> 00:41:38,705 The peeved pagliacci broke out of Darkham Asylum 633 00:41:38,788 --> 00:41:43,084 with maniac pixie dream girl, Margeley Quinn, by his side. 634 00:41:43,167 --> 00:41:47,046 They're leading an army of similarly-shod antisocial sickos 635 00:41:47,130 --> 00:41:49,465 with no clear purpose or motive. 636 00:41:49,549 --> 00:41:52,969 I have but one purpose and motive, and they are clear: 637 00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:56,389 to kill Krusty for using his television show 638 00:41:56,472 --> 00:41:59,559 to loser-shame his biggest fan. 639 00:41:59,642 --> 00:42:01,310 Yeah! 640 00:42:02,937 --> 00:42:05,398 Kill Krusty, kill Krusty. 641 00:42:05,481 --> 00:42:08,776 So, Vonnegut, will I understand Slaughterhouse-Five 642 00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:10,653 if I didn't read the first four? 643 00:42:10,737 --> 00:42:14,991 Slaughterhouse-Five, or as it's also known, The Children's Crusade, 644 00:42:15,074 --> 00:42:18,745 is a darkly humorous exploration of the randomness of existence. 645 00:42:20,079 --> 00:42:22,415 Die, Krusty, die, Krusty. 646 00:42:22,498 --> 00:42:25,960 This is for humiliating me and for every bad thing 647 00:42:26,044 --> 00:42:30,590 that's ever happened to anyone since and including the beginning of time. 648 00:42:34,594 --> 00:42:36,012 - Cut to commercial. - We did it. 649 00:42:36,095 --> 00:42:40,767 We solved all of society's problems by killing my favorite talk show host. 650 00:42:40,850 --> 00:42:42,977 Oh! We're just getting started. 651 00:42:43,061 --> 00:42:46,439 We'll burn this whole city down, and nothing can stop us 652 00:42:46,522 --> 00:42:50,651 because Batman is contractually not allowed to exist in this universe. 653 00:42:52,361 --> 00:42:55,698 For the first time, I feel loved. 654 00:43:04,123 --> 00:43:05,249 Wait, what? 655 00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:07,085 The D'ohker is happy? 656 00:43:07,627 --> 00:43:08,628 And loved. 657 00:43:08,711 --> 00:43:11,506 He's not a self-celibate freak like us. 658 00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:13,382 He's got a girlfriend. 659 00:43:13,466 --> 00:43:14,675 No Chads! 660 00:43:14,759 --> 00:43:16,552 He's found love. 661 00:43:16,636 --> 00:43:17,887 Kill them! 662 00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:19,472 Die, D'ohker. 663 00:43:19,555 --> 00:43:20,890 Die, D'ohker. 664 00:43:26,813 --> 00:43:30,566 Well, at least in that fantasy, we ended up together. 665 00:43:30,650 --> 00:43:34,403 Marge, you're the classiest person to ever pass out in my bar, 666 00:43:34,487 --> 00:43:36,239 but you should go on home now. 667 00:43:39,951 --> 00:43:41,494 Oh, my head hurts. 668 00:43:41,577 --> 00:43:44,831 I don't even know which Homer I want. 669 00:43:45,873 --> 00:43:47,625 Here I go. 670 00:43:49,210 --> 00:43:51,170 Homer. Homer. 671 00:43:51,754 --> 00:43:53,089 Homer? 672 00:43:53,172 --> 00:43:55,174 Homer? Kids? 673 00:43:55,258 --> 00:43:57,844 Anyone? Where are you? 674 00:44:02,014 --> 00:44:04,934 There he is, my Homer. 675 00:44:06,936 --> 00:44:08,896 I'm sorry about everything. 676 00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:10,815 Shh. It's okay. 677 00:44:10,898 --> 00:44:14,485 I know all you wanted was a fun couples night out, 678 00:44:14,569 --> 00:44:16,779 and I couldn't even really be there. 679 00:44:16,863 --> 00:44:18,447 Oh, you were there. 680 00:44:18,531 --> 00:44:22,577 You're the bravest, smartest, happiest Homer for me. 681 00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:23,703 You're perfect.